As human beings we eat, sleep, and breathe feelings. As a gen z virtual therapy counselor in NYC, there is a broad spectrum of people who walk through our online “doors”. Maybe you struggle with family issues, loneliness, relationships, work stress or even shame. No matter what you’re dealing with there is one inevitability, especially in therapy, and that is- vulnerability. 

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In Brene Brown’s Book Daring Greatly, vulnerability is shown as one of the key factors to living an authentic wholehearted life. In sharing pieces of ourselves with a therapist we allow ourselves to be seen in order to begin the healing process. In doing that, we remind ourselves how powerful it can be to show up authentically in front of another person. Of course, vulnerability has its painful moments- our brain often brings up our greatest fears; fears of rejection, judgment, loss and  hurt. 

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In hopes of not being hurt some people choose to separate themselves instead of taking a risk. Isolation becomes a shield and eventually a prison. The catch is- when we are the creators of our glass prison, we do not allow ourselves to be embraced, to give others a chance to see us for who we are. Through the glass prison we see everyone, but choose to hold ourselves apart. To break free we must choose to embrace ourselves in the face of imperfection. We must feel- we must allow ourselves to be seen and heard, as we feel. As told by Brene Brown, vulnerability is having the courage to show up.

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By taking that chance, that jump into uncertainty we know one thing for certain. We showed up. We tried. Vulnerability is showing up in rain or shine; in the face of uncertain outcomes whether its failure, tribulations, or success. By showing up, we give ourselves the opportunity to be seen and embraced by others. We learn how to feel proud of ourselves with or without success- truly knowing that success comes and goes, but the dedication to be brave and vulnerable does not. 

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While this journey is part of being human, Gen-Z growing up with technology, has a very specific struggle. As a connected and disconnected generation who lost pivotal years to the Covid-19 pandemic, the opportunities to be vulnerable live and in person has been scarce. This is a breeding ground for loneliness, especially in college. This post-pandemic era brings new hope and new chances. The next time you pause before sharing something big, something close to your heart, know that every jump is having the dedication to be loved genuinely and truly. The next time you wonder what your therapist, or anyone, is thinking, remember that you are walking in power- in your truth whatever that may be. 

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As a therapist, this is something I myself struggle with. Life provides a continuous stream of challenges, of moments where trying simply does not seem possible. The good (and bad news) is that these moments will keep coming time and time again. It’s up to us to take each moment as an opportunity to fine tune our skills, to showcase our bravery, and be the people we want to be. Vulnerability can be a tool to walk in one’s power, cultivate resilience, and build a safety network of people who “get us”. It can also be incredibly terrifying too. These feelings are very real and powerful, but if life is hard, I like to think that we can choose what’s worth the difficulty. I think this is a battle worth fighting for. 

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To explore these concepts further, I recommend checking out the full book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. If you struggle with loneliness, intimacy, fear of failure, hopelessness, and anxiety this may be a supportive resource in conjunction with counseling.  Sol Health, as an affordable online  therapy option, aims to serve everyone and reimagine mental health, especially for college students, teens, and the gen z generation.

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